Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
