I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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