some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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