After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
