he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
