the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
