Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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