I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
