Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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