My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
