puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
