wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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