what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
