You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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