Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
