i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
