Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
smell my finger.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
