is wine microwaveable?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
