Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
