he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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