Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
