Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
