I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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