there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
