I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
