he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
