I want to stick my p in your. b.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
