we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
