I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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