If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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