he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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