If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
