took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
