There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
