my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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