He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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