pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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