Don't you send me to vm
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
