Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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