Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

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  (213): those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later http://tfl.nu/envj
  Replies (9) Good night (6122) Bad night (544)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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  (808): drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night http://tfl.nu/q31t
  Replies (23) Good night (3665) Bad night (976)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha

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  (801): we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha http://tfl.nu/k58e
  Replies (20) Good night (7183) Bad night (830)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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  (206): I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians (503): How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often? http://tfl.nu/gll8
  Replies (20) Good night (5169) Bad night (1072)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??

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  (603): As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right?? http://tfl.nu/yy40
  Replies (32) Good night (3933) Bad night (1008)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.

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  (312): I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/dhko
  Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (1581)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me

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  (732): I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me http://tfl.nu/pe15
  Replies (7) Good night (836) Bad night (1878)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.

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  (617): Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home. http://tfl.nu/hrqw
  Replies (6) Good night (1501) Bad night (507)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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  (580): That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/nlfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (552)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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  (973): Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle. http://tfl.nu/gy9y
  Replies (16) Good night (511) Bad night (1192)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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  (850): You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets. http://tfl.nu/bxsc
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (430)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors

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  (843): Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors http://tfl.nu/kni1
  Replies (12) Good night (420) Bad night (1488)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing

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  (416): Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress (416): Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing http://tfl.nu/buq7
  Replies (2) Good night (236) Bad night (370)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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  (630): so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!? http://tfl.nu/j27z
  Replies (2) Good night (230) Bad night (447)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest

  (937): View more from Ohio

  That happened during battle shots lol

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  (937): Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest (937): That happened during battle shots lol http://tfl.nu/pbl3
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (151)

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