What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I forget how to act sober
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
