someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?