I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday