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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

  (248): View more from Michigan

  They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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• (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed

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• (432): View more from Texas

  I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.

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