Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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