Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
