We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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