There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
