I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
