I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
