I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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