I think I died a long time ago.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
