Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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