I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
