then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I will pee on everything he values.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
