Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
