Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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