we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
