I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I still have a little drunk in my system
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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