Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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