the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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