She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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