just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
