We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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