He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
