what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
