I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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