There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
